the mix

About to go to bed, sitting at Gretchen's desk, listening to music. I decided to steal a mix she made for a friend to play at her daughter and ex-husband's memorial service. The two perished just before Christmas in a plane crash that went down in the Panamanian rainforest, and I think that Gretchen was asked to do music for the event. She pored over it for hours, and it's quite moving.

I feel like this is the sort of thing that I used to be able to write pages and pages about. I could blog the heck out of anything. Lately, I just keep it in my soul, letting it change me. But "Blackbird" by the Beatles has just come on. And I feel a bit awkward having a mix called "Talia's Memorial" in a stack of cd's in my car. But it's beautiful too, that a stranger she didn't even know could feel a deeper appreciation for life by listening to Colin Hay sing "I just don't think I'll ever get over you."

A few weeks ago, a Christmas present for a close friend was a mix that I made for her. It's quite customary for me to give people of importance a mix or just a sampling of artists I love at that moment. The friend was going through a troubling time after some dramatic events had occurred, and I felt helpless, with said friend in Nashville, and me a mere blocks from an ever-coursing Pacific. So I counseled, and soothed, and laughed at, and held. With the songs of others. And I think by the end of accomplishing my compilation, I had a better understanding of what she felt, and what I would do had I been there. I was sort of projecting myself into that space that I needed to be in.

Funny how music can do that. Okay, I'm going to bed now. I also failed my written drivers test this morning. How embarrassing! I've been driving for 6 years people. I'd like to say that the laws vary quite grealty from state to state, but I think that would be giving my poor, easily distracted brain too much credit. I'm really quite dumb. But I try to mask it in front of Case and Jen and my editor and by attempting to read more.

I'm working on it. G'Night, dear ones.